My prayers were answered and answered...By Faith I am well where I was dying...
Many of us associate our most deeply-held convictions with a single, life-changing experience and sometimes these convictions grow over a life time. Hello and welcome to my testimony, please read it with an open mind, I wrote this from my heart. English, and grammar are not my strong points but hope you will "feel" what I'm saying here. I don't even know where or how to start to tell you how wonderful the Lord has been to me throughout my life and almost my death. Back in 97 I had a stroke that disabled my left hand and leg, if not for the training as a nurse I'd had there would've been much more collateral damage than what was done. The doctor started me on physical therapy before I even left the hospital. My primary care provider referred me to a neurologist who ran tests including specific tests for antibodies which led to me being diagnosed with the first of my autoimmune diseases..the anticardiolipin antibody syndrome which causes blood to be "sticky" making clots in vein, arteries, organs...anyplace blood flows.
The hematologist in Memphis said since I had 2 forms of this...and high numbers...it was a severe form. I was started on Coumadin with my blood to be kept at a very thin level...would be so easy to get too high and hemorrhage but this was all they knew to do for it at this point. The Lord was with me, helped me as I regained use of my left side and resumed my duties as a home health nurse.
The second stroke hit me while I was in a patients home with one of our aides..strangest thing it was. I'd been spending a lot of time in the office doing recerts, checking charts, helping with administrative duties....cause the left hand just didn't seem to heal well enough to be able to manage some of the fine skills required out in the field. Well, anyways due to some changes in Administrations ideas I was back out on the raod.... at one of patients houses and all of a sudden my left thumb drew back, I didn't know what was happening.
The aide who was with me took my blood pressure and it was 180 over something and nothing would do ut she call my supervisor who got all in a tizzy insisting they get me to a hospital to the emergency room. well, I was a little bit of a hard head and thought I needed to get this patient taken care of before I went on out for myself but this particular aide found some spunk I would've never suspected she had spurred on by our supervisors orders and she just got my purse and my bag and off to her car we went. I still have a hard time believing that this little sweet mannered lady got me out there but she did... I tried to convince them I could make it to the docs myself.
Thank God they outvoted me, I may have even died or had significant permanent damage if not for their intervention and the Lord opening my heart to "listen". It was a part of the Lords plan for me to go to that hospital but I sure didn't know why. Well, this was stroke number 2 so my my time on the road was about to end. and these doctors checked further and found more damage than anticipated. Before it was all said and done I was told I'd have maybe 2 years left to live....to much damage and too many diseases things going against me. The heart doctor got involved and found I had a clogged artery so that meant a trip to get that one stented, God saw me through and comforted me through any fears I may have had. Mostly I was worried about my family and what would my patients do but turns out the doctors wanted me off the road and at home, seems everybody thought I should retire and enjoy what quality time I had left with my family.
Turns out I had more autoimmune problems than they thought...more and more were showing up all the time besides my lungs had deteriorated to 10% vital capacity which I can tell you isn't good at all. I'd have some up times and than go down down down than up a little but always down a little farther and never up quite as much as before. The Lord helped me, He gave me doctors that would keep me comfortable, He gave me friends to talk with over the internet and other Christians I could talk to about all these blessings I had and how good life was.
Yep, Life is always been good and I've always had plenty of blessings to be thankful for...... cause you know it could always be worst and there was always someone else for me to be able to try to help...... that's a real blessing to feel needed and useful when your body is not wanting to function quite the way we're used to. There's nothing that "prayer" and "faith" can't make better. We have an awesome God.
It was hard to see my family suffering so over worrying about me, I tried to tell them I was fine, just fine and everything would be alright. I wouldn't have told my children a thing if it wasn't for my husband saying it wasn't right for me not to say anything and than something happen and leave them with things they wished they'd said or done......well, that's why I told him but it was so hard to tell anyone else knowing it would make them think I couldn't take good care of myself. I knew that I could do anything with God beside me. I'd been saved as a young girl when my cousin took me under her wings and brought me to a warm Christian environment where I found the Love of Jesus waiting for me.
I never had a doubt that God would take care of me, He'd given His Son for my salvation...a "gift" of love. I sure did want to make sure my family was alright though...... I mean their souls .... I wanted to see they knew Jesus and that all was well with their "souls" so I prayed for this. I prayed for many years for me and Ralph to get along and be the friends we were before we married. We just couldn't seem to "connect"......if he went this way than I had to go that way and we just couldn't seem to agree on anything much. I prayed and now I know he prayed too for us to get along and be friends...for there to be no hostility between us before "something happened"........ God had a big "miracle" in store for us but we wouldn't know it for a while...things had to get worst before they could get better. Oh, and they got so much worst I didn't know if either one of us would survive long enough for these diseases to take their toll and God to take me on Home. I found out I had to really and truly forgive him for everything I ever thought he had done against me and the things or people I loved....... but what's even harder is that I had to forgive my own self for all I'd ever done to anybody in my whole life and I thought I'd done a whole lot. Meanwhile through all of this I'm getting sicker and sicker with less and less up times. It got to where both of my sons with their wives and children moved in close (next door) to be close... we didn't know what was going to happen or how much help any of us were going to need to get through this.
God brought my children home close so I could see up close whatever changes would come along with their "souls".... that's how I know He's going to make everything alright with them, also I prayed for them to be where I'd see them in heaven.......eventually. Gods been answering my prayers just left & right, making all kinds of "miracles" happen right before my very eyes...... almost too fast to even count. Tragedy struck, the Church we were going to (well, I went when I could) went cold or the devil got in there and tore it all up and just about tore Ralphs desire to ever go to Church again. I was so devastated, my youngest son and his family was going there pretty regular by this time and now that was all gone........but God let me know it would all be ok, keep the faith.... there was a bigger better plan in the makings. We were keeping in contact with Wendell and Ruby over the internet and they were praying for Ralph to find another church, one he would find the true spirit in.
Well, anyways in March my older sons wife was leaving her job and stayed here with me while Ralph was working. I had 2 heart blockages by now and the lungs were really bad so was the pain and I could barely go anyplace. Ralph was going to be retiring soon and wasn't very interested in working than coming home to watch me try to make it from the couch to the table to the bedroom and back. He was going through a depression thinking that he was going to lose me without us ever having become the friends again and without ever feeling truely forgiven but that would change. I still felt blessed, I was happy I could go to the bathroom, sit on the couch, walk to the table and I was jumping up and down excited when I felt good enough to get to go out to the car and go somewhere even if I didn't get to go in. than things started to "change". Prayer hankys started to come even in the mail, my daughter in laws mother who is also an assistant preacher came out and prayed for my healing annointing with the olive oil...I started seeing a little "ray" of hope here, prayers for healing from Churches I didn't even know and some from people I only really knew over the internet. Of course we'd all be praying for years but not for healing cause to me that was just so much and there were so many I thought would do so much better work for the Lord and who deserved it more than me.... I lived a far from perfect life... made lots of mistakes. There were so many good people praying for me through these years, for my body and spirit. I didn't think I was worth of being "healed" but I did pray for the Lord to keep me comfortable and let me see my family would be alright.
These prayers were being answered and I did start feeling better, went back into the hospital and they said my lungs were up to 20% capacity, 2 more clogs they'd found were almost gone and they removed a large polyp from my stomache. During this past few months I'd lost down about 20-30 pounds to weight about 110. I'd prayed my husband and his nephew could be close again cause they were such good friends when they were young that I knew they'd help each other through whatever was to come. My husbands sister Ruby and her husband Wendell came on up for the summer from their Florida home...they're snowbirds. By the way that boyhood friend of Ralphs is his nephew...Rubys son. They all were going to this little Church out in the middle of nowhere called Morris Hill and they talked about how much "spirit" it had and how friendly the people were.
Sounded like heart felt religion to me and I started to get an inkling of hope here that maybe I'd even get to go to this Church myself and maybe even if for just one time would feel the "spirit" that is so strong it lifts you up and keeps you there.... I prayed for this and it happened. We went to a fish fry bar b que over at Bobby & Kathys, the Church folks were there and they were just nice friendly warm people who seemed to have the "spirit" of the Lord with them even out there away from any Church. The following week was going to be Wendell and Rubys last Sunday before they went back to Florida so we agreed to go to the Church if I could make it.... I told them I would make it, I knew God would get me there.... Ralph wasn't sure I'd be able to make it cause really now I was one sick puppy.....but anything is possible with God and we were going. It was wonderful! I felt like I'd made a round about circle and found my home Church where I'd first been saved, and what's more Ralph liked it too. Ruby had tears of joy, as much faith as they had they'd never thought of God not only placing Ralph in a Church he would be comfortable in ...but guiding him to their Church so that Ruby would be in Church that Sunday with her son, her husband AND her brother. This is all a part of Gods plan, we never know what great gifts He will give when we pray and "believe"....with "faith" it's all possible.
Somewhere along in here Ralph and I started really talking to each other ... like we should instead of having to have our defenses up. Guess I decided I was n't leaving this world with "growling" in my mind and I was not going to growl....decided I would bite that bottom lip off before I growled......prayed about it and found it wasn't so hard to do. Walking hand in hand through the rest of our lives as "real" friends once again makes living "thrice blessed". We both thank God for this second chance to enjoy each others company walking with Him.
The following Sunday......"miracles" sprouted all over the place...the "spirit' lifted us and has kept us up ever since. This testimony has only just begun...... I am a "work in progress", where He leads me I follow. All the glory for what has happened in my life, health, marriage and attitude go to the Lord ...He's blessed us in so many ways...and we're not alone. We're just a small part of Gods "LIGHT HOUSE" to the world.
